Rhod Gilbert on BBC Radio Wales.

If you are listening to this, you are listening to Rhod Gilbert's Best Bits, some of the best bits of my Saturday morning radio show, live on BBC Radio Wales. This week, I'm in the studio in Cardiff, and Eggzy is with me.

Hello, Rhod. I'm very excited. / Are you? / Yeah. Um, I'm having one times hot drink, and I've looked at __ newspaper / one times hot drink? / one times hot drink / got a second / I've never heard ... I've never heard that said before / I'm in __ work environment now / I'm / as official as the people behind the glass, our producers. / weird little things ... that's so weird / one times, uh ... / would you say that / seven times / now / two x beef burgers __ __ you never say that / nobody says that / if I'm on a train / even on a train nobody says that / that / one-time / hot / would you? Just / joky / twinkle in your eyes / just a bit of fun / that does / people / put in / little bit of fun / sort of person / Feature 1 / stop / I'm a bit mad at me. / Stop. / that's it / that's exactly that kind of person / realize / this / one x hot drink / I'm writing this down / little bit crazy / little bit nuts / Woo, I'm nuts / you're just ... / nuts / Mind you, your one x hot drink / is very much / ball / so, little annoying ... little annoying tics that people do ... 人が言うちょっとしたことで、ちょっと気がきいてるでしょ、プロっぽいでしょ、とちょっと得意な顔をし、聞く者をムカつかせるようなこと。 / Yeah, / ... to show that / got / feature 1 / very good one / hang on / down / annoying / that people do to show they have ... I'm gonna ... I'm gonna skip a bit of __ grammar / have / twinkle in their eye / don't / grammartists / eye-twinkler quiz / e.g., one x hot drink / yeah, OK / could you / annoys me? / yeah, go on / Feature 2 / little annoying ... / different feature, (althought I) / same thing again / little annoying tics that people do to show you / not / in their eye / show you / they are, kind of, professional / official / kind of / yeah / do you know / to show you that they are sort of professional / really / e.g. ... e.g., when you are in a bank and they say / phone number for yourself / yeah / myself / just / can I take / yourself / nobody says "yourself" / just / they / give you / in some way / Exactly. They / it's like a ... it's like a / in their arms / what / called / a waistcoat / yes / in a badge / e.g., "yourself" instead of "you" よろしいですか、ではなく、よろしかったですか、と言う / two very strong features. I'm very happy with that. / Good. This is gonna be a great show / I'm / home / printer / we're done here / one times hot drink / now

Coming up on the show today, uh, Mr. Eggzy from Goldie Lookin Chain is here / my own / going / got two annoying things / so far / yeah / one x hot drink / that's annoying / call you / Mr. Eggzy / little annoying things / people / in conversation to show / little twinkle in their eye / bit / mad at me / Mr. Eggzy / call / every time / mind / let it go / we know each other long enough / let it go / I know / think about it / gonna stay / I've got to live with me / rest of the day now, the rest of your life / set up / feature / within eight seconds / knock / this / down there / little annoying things people do to show you they're / professional, like, when people say "yourself" / No. It's "you", innit? / outside the work eivironment / Exactly. / name badge / and I / and that's it / printer / be buzzing / humming by now / steam / coming off / absolutely nothing / coming on / little annoying things people say to show / little twinkle in their eye / e.g. / Eggzy saying "1 x hot drink / yeah / this morning / still winds me up / newspaper / text / rhod / bbc.co.uk, uh, you can tweet the show @ / god knows / still / listening / I was just / drinking my drink / you can ring. That's it / 037 101 / we will, uh, we will, uh, / message / passed on / no one / they do seem to do it, occasionally. Um ... / now then, what / I've got another feature suggestion / somebody in S__ / shall I / might as well / came in / week / even current / stale email / this is / oh / god / it's like rotten cheese 腐ったチーズみたいだ。/ It is. Uh ... "Hi, Rhod and co / on, do they? / I don't even care / as if / fair enough ... I wouldn't. ... "As a new listener to the wonderful podcast you produce / sarcastic already / compelled / share / only presume to be something / many of / listeners / have experienced / perhaps you might / for this show / Recently my wife __ taken ill / Is that a feature? / Nuh. / OK. / recently, my wife __ __ ill and had to spend some time in hospital. Living on a small street, we are very close to our neighbours / inquiring how my wife is 奥様のお加減はいかがですか、などと気を使って言ってくれたりしたが、/ usually ending in "is there anything you need / if there is anything you need / let us know / so / wife's in hospital / very kind, yeah / good so far / very nice / good intentions / may think / asked that very question / I asked / she / mind / painting the guttering ドブさらいをしていただけたら、すごく助かるんですけど、と言ったら / in the dire need of doing / would be a big help / 'cause / hospital / myself before the end of summer / my disappointment / after a week / 82-year old neighbour / still hadn't done / guttering / paintbrush / coming up with excuses as to why she can't do it / else / I can do to help / word / I was wondering if any of you listeners have had similar situations where people have said, "Is there anything I can do / help / only to be let down. 「私にできることがあったら言ってね」と言われたので実際に何かを頼んだのだがやってもらえなくてすごくがっかりしたことが君にはあるか？ / yeah / it's an interesting one / I think you are right. If / neighbour / like that / quite right to call a bluff / false advertising / give us some ... give us some very very complicated electrical engineering work. / Nice touch. Re-wire the house / Re-wire the house / and then / change / gas / give her a pair of ... give her a pair of old overalls ... / Yeah. / and ask her to just have a look at / there's a problem / at home / get / __ be registered / or whatever it is / registered / course / that's what you could do / have a look at / do a course first / stick / before you / a boiler suit and a van, and I want a proper certification. / 5-year guarantee / neighbour / I don't know. / anyone experienced this / neighbour / bluff / anyway, yes, uh, yeah, / with that / as a feature. Why not? / on / go / let's have a little / let me just scroll up here / performing live / it says / little notes / playlist for me / say / gives them something to do / performing live for the first time in 36 years on Tuesday / Kate Bush / she / nobody / what / make of that / news / not to film / one of the people / many voices out there / hear saying / experience it for yourself / be in the moment / little screen / sympathy / Eggzy / or no / festival / last weekend / that was fun / all filmed it / why not / treat yourself / head-to-head / Bush / me / gigs for 36 years / I / calm down, mate, calm down / anyone / get this angry with Bush ケイト・ブッシュにこんなに怒ってるのはお前だけだぞ。/ I take on / Bush / yeah. Come on / 36 years / let's do it / ultimate challenge / 36 years to do / to come up with __ outrageous comments like this / we can't film / we can't take photos / Bush, just let them in / open / floodgate / let them enjoy themselves. ... That's what I say. / Bush / strong views / I agree with that, 100%.

"Morning, boys. ... I don't know whether this comes in / Feature 1 or Feature 2" Hang on a minute / from / one email so far, ladies and gentlemen / from our oldest / regular / most infamous listener / one email / nine years / radio / morning, boys. Don't know / people / people say "my property" when referring to their own home. 自分の家のことを「物件」と言う奴が許せません。/ Huh. OK. Yeah. / hear that / I mean / people / hanging out / Um ... I don't know / what have you got / something else / more than one email / myself / two or three / social networking / kicked in / social / the strength of twitter, Darren on twitter / annoying quirks people use / yeah / use of phonetic alphabet / A__ / B__ / C__ / Dean S__ / etc. / you know, where / people just take things / phonetic alphabet / you know / those bits / end / obviously. Um ... / wants people to say / people / their / whatever / happy with this A, B, C, D, ... と言えばいいものを、A__, Barbecue, Charlie, D__, ... とわざわざ言う。それが許せない。/ Darren / sorry / on the floor / this feature / I am one email away あと一本、しょーもないメールが来たら、このコーナーを閉鎖する。/ make / good / pen / paper / ready / vertical line / Feature 1 / this is the decider. This / feature 1 or 2 / the annoying military saying / two sugars / anyone / says that / No / of course not / should we / scrap the feature / listen to this / go straight to the news / let's just go / next 24 minutes / what / talking about / get it back / bin / back on the desk / back on the desk / sort this bloke out / I don't even know what you're saying / Feature 1 or 2 / annoying / what does it mean, "the annoying ... / military / is he saying that, when he's in a coffee shop / from / in front of him in the queue / instead of saying / whatever / whatever they are / they say / coffee / standard / NATO standard / I've heard / and this is the biggest annoying / people / NATO / NATO 式で頼むぜ。 / yeah / at the moment. He / get back / are you in / coffee shop / supermarket / somebody in front of you / coffee NATO standard / because, I / honestly / anyone / any / coffee / NATO conference coming up. I don't think / overtaken the coffee world yet / talking of coffee / yeah / here we go / big story / in a coffee shop / said / I said to the person behind the ... the bali__ バリスタ / call him a b__, a.k.a. shop assistant. まあ、店員のことだが / Yeah. Right / coffee man / I said, uh ... I said / I'd like a cup of coffee, please / so far so good / she said / drink / take / nothing wrong with that / I said / take-away / said / put some stuff on the ... on the counter / sandwich / good guess / bad guess / let me tell the story うん。いい推理だ。君の推理力はすばらしいが、今はとりあえず、私に話を続けさせてくれ。/ guess / every element いちいち当てにこなくていいから。/ sandwich それからサンドイッチも買ったんだよ。そしたら、/ please / eat-in or take-away お持ち帰りですか？ / I'm taking the coffee away ... あのさ、おれはコーヒーを持ち帰るって言ってるんだぜ？/ who / seriously / have the sandwich / but どの世界に、サンドイッチを店内でノドをつまらせながら食べてからコーヒーは外に出てから飲むやつがいるんだよ？/ for the sandwich / did / unbelievable / food / confusing / I had a granola bar as well / and / I kid you not / time / now you think / go out / have / and come back / granola bar / or you think I'm / some kind of starter / what are you ... talking about? / who / people don't do / I / issue / I went / store recently, and, uh ... the till wasn't quite working / messing up / woman / sorry about this. / sentimental today 今日はキャッシャーの機嫌が悪いようで。/ best thing / looks a bit / just / best thing I've ever heard / maybe / emotional / looking back / wonderful time / cash cards / was all too much for it.

happy Mondays / step on / that's it. That's a good track / Eggzy / can't be that / enjoy / wiggly piano / wiggle / glory days / Manchester there / crazy-looking eyes / wonderful times / wonderful times / wonderful times / Do you know / missed though / the whole / people / into / side of it / I liked it, definitely / I think ... I think / travelling a bit / I think / just missed / quite like / up until then / two sisters / music / taken / by aliens or anything. They're still there / face make-up / I didn't like / I didn't understand / I couldn't handle it / I couldn't handle it / two sisters / record player, doing / dance routines in the street every Saturday / pop music is. Is this what it is? / would / with the advent of this new generation music / music / much / piano / love / you remember / first half of the show / different show / that was the Coffee / Coffee Morning / Lunch Club / this is / Rhod / Goldie Lookin Chain / Lunch Club / Coffee Morning, we were talking about / somebody said / feature was / little annoying tics / sort of / twinkling 得意な顔をするやつ。/ in their eye / uh / "click" for kilometer / now, I've heard this / somebody says / irritating / it is a bit irritating / you know / just / miles / I just do miles / kilometers / right / say / kilometers are confusing / shorter than miles / I don't know / kilometers when / go down quicker / you feel a sense of satisfaction / do / I mean / you know, the down side is / drive / Paris, 287 / yes / I guess / I love kilometers all of a sudden / slightly better deal there / mile / good quality mile / go / sometimes I / sometimes I let you get away with these things / sometimes I / what does / even mean / quality / couple of miles ... in my mind / that's / 20-minute walk / yeah. Easy. Kilometers / I don't understand them. It becomes math キロって言われると、急に数学になるんだ。/ go kilometers / head-to-head / OK / kilometers vs miles / first off / much quicker / just / they click away / uh ... the mile / easier to comprehend / not easier to comprehend / quick / top of your head / see / it's not easy, is it? / No. I can't do it / math / GCSE / this week / top of your head / ten / races / no problem at all / I think / hundred / I don't know / this is where / listeners to come in / beating your good solid mile.

Paul __ny / email / his email / .co.uk / from / here's a feature for you." / OK. Here we go / give / something to fill / we don't need your Psychic W__ / which, I suspect, is gonna be rubbish. / Yeah / I've decided / call / that's fine. That's fine, yeah. This is good / start of the show / funny mood / first sentence / one times hot drink ホットドリンクかける１ / anything / don't like it. Move on to / next / feature / Paul does / feature / himself / backs / forget it / all right / let's hear the first half / sorry to have bothered you / closing line / forget it / middle of the email / main chunk / here's a feature for you / two things that are very similar / talking / people say / two things / one is nothing better than / one is nothing worse than / for example / somebody / nothing better than / still-warm bread / nothing / the same person / say / worse / what? / actually, forget / I'm sorry to have bothered you / thanks for that, Paul. / he tried / he did try / put some effort in / an email / worst / rip in half / Look at that / it's gone, Paul / let's have / psychic wordlobe サイキック・ワードローブ / uh / my voice / psychic wardrobe / will channel someone from the afterlife / I can absorb some / one knock for yes / two knocks for "no" / I will start / afterlife / through / literally / know what you're talking about / psychic / in the room with us / I am three seconds away from pressing PLAY on my machine / from the afterlife / channel / using the wardrobe to communicate who the person is / have to guess / person is / are you essentially saying / essense of this game / when I boil it down / all / words like "channeling" / yeah / quite a lot, I would say / just call it "Guess who I'm thinking / I have to guess / go. / dead / that's a start / Winston Churchill / good / really good ... really good approach / and I think / right / famous and dead. OK. / so / have to be / just somebody / uncle Barry, you know / no / this / a clue / not Church / I don't want any clues / maybe, I could / feel / you too much / spirit of / too excited / but, uh, I can see ... / let's just say I can see ... a fog / a purplissh fog around me / and perhaps some ladies in a country. Very criptic ... criptic clues / Jimi Hendrix / congratulations / yes / second guess / there, ladies and gentlemen / over / that's one done / news. / Yeah.

That was Eggzy's choice / you / good / great boozy saxophone / up / street / Brilliant. Really good tune. I'm glad you have / nicely put / does sound / falling / street / in a good way / happy / yeah / couple of / previous / couple of s__ / bottle of / things people say to make you think / twinkle in their eye / couple of S__s / god, I'm irritating myself 自分で言っててムカついてきた。 / in your face / "Hi, Rhod / Mr. Eggzy / which / establishes / another one / my annoying / Mr. Eggzy / this is my first time listening to the live show / to the Lunch Show / lunch club / clearly distinct and separate entities / regarding Feature 2, Annoying tics to seem professional / ah, yeah / annoying / feature / people say "yourself" / phone / yourself / just me / Uh ... "every Friday, my manager says, "Thanks, guys". It's always nice to hear / thank / just / thanks / for your work / this sick-making gesture is immediately undermined / keep quiet, I think / Kind regards, S__ / London / the term "guys" as well / "OK, guys" / let's, uh, let's / good show today, guys ...", you know / we've had / hang / hold / fort / move / this / for nine years / number of times / the number of appeals I have put in to / printer be moved / closer to the person / constant gap / go over to the printer to get off / from the audience / do / just seems daft you have to get up and go across the room / I don't understand / I'm looking through / nine years / asking for this. 9 年も言い続けている。 / looking at somethings else now as if they were busy / look / dials and buttons here / something's happening to the radio / hey / yeah / tweeted in / Hello / one response / psychic wardrobe / chimp quiz サイキック・ワードローブはチンプ・クイズといい勝負です。/ Oh, that great classic quiz. / I don't know / good thing or bad thing うーん。褒めてるのかけなしてるのか。/ could be / yes or no, prime minister / make it a permanent feature.

Now then / right / back to / light-hearted g__ through the newspaper / I don't believe / put together / a bit of paper / call / study / a bit of both / ok / so / got / men and women / huh huh / and they said / what things boost your mood? / OK. / so, like / nice sunset / that sort of thing / that sort of thing / yeah / new survey / done, Right? Uh ... men, / surprised to learn / attractive female / sight of / the biggest pick-me-up / OK. Great. Yeah / % / a jucy steak / 37% / people laughing: 36% / then ... women / OK / nothing surprising there, / standard / standard / results / no big surprise / women / come on / OK. So, what / top pick-me-up for women / smell of a lemon 女性の場合、一番元気が出るのは、レモンの香りだと。/ women just smiling just staring at / lemons / familiy / smell / said / family friends give me a boost / 55% / smell of a lemon / rather / ladies / rather / weekend away / or / have a sniff of this lemon / friends / family / go / lemon / absolutely / I've never / who did this? J__? / who did this / carried / test out / those / maker / plastic lemons / people / based cleaning product / sort of cleaning product / confused / so wound up / woman / really make / plastic lemons / great / child / as / child / cause おまえもこの調査をやったヤツと同じレベルか。/ yeah / top childhood favorite / Action Man: 14% / plastic lemon / 86% / my skateboard for a plastic lemon, please. / rubbish in my life

If you enjoyed that one, why / the whole show? / Rhod / BBC Radio Wales, 11 till 1.